*walks around singing "I think I'm in love" by Jessica Simpson at the top of my lungs* Everything was peaches and roses, I definitely didn't notice the pits and thorns. His words were sweet and I thought I needed to hear them. I sat eagerly anticipating each call and text. Alone, I mentally went over each conversation and smiled. Ahhh, a girl in love you'd say.
When we saw each other, to me it felt like we were the only ones that existed... It was our world! He'd take my hand, stroke my face, kiss me. "This could be it" I thought as I drifted off into fantasy land. We'd talk nonstop about our futures TOGETHER. Marriage, careers and children. Oh this is a man with a plan! Yay me!
Then it all came crashing down... There was someone else.
Problem #1: Our friendship was rocky from the beginning. Too many lies and apologies from the start. I wanted to believe that I was the "exception" not the "rule" (come on, you know you saw that movie: He's Just Not That Into You). He wouldn't lie to me. His eyes and voice were so sincere, he would never use me. WRONG.
Problem #2: Distance. Distance, in my case made only ONE heart grow fonder. We were in separate locations with no accountability (no friends or family to look out for us).
Problem #3: No commitment. Despite those sweet words and future life plans mutually made no one declared commitment to the other! I definitely take blame on that- assumptions certainly can make you look like Eeyore (think on it).
Problem #4: Forgiving is great but forgiving with wisdom is best and I wasn't aware of that concept. I forgave the same transgressions over and over and over. I fell for the words I WANTED to hear.
Problem #5: Settling. He wasn't my ideal and I was afraid I would never get the perfect man for me so I'd take what was in front of me- it was attractive, funny, ridiculously charming and all the girls wanted it too (ding ding ding!!! You would think my bulb would have lit up... Apparently I didn't pay the bill).
Problem #6: I let insecurities override my good sense and God's leading. I was sooo happy to know I had the attention other girls wanted and couldn't get (that's what I thought). Women, seriously, we need to stop being petty. We need to compliment and not compete with each other. Like they say 'someone's always got next' and it's usually the girl who wasn't in the race to begin with!
Problem #7: I didn't understand my singleness. Singleness is actually great! There is more time to spend with God. More time to discover your talents and go after your dreams. More time with friends and family. More time with you and as a bonus- you don't have to deal with arguments and relationship frustrations. During this time I've realized that I do not need someone to fix my life or my past and that no one can possibly complete me. An incomplete person that enters a relationship remains an incomplete person. This only changes when you become complete as an individual. That's also when true, life long relationships form, build and endure.
Problem #8: I didn't trust God. Lesson learned!
The end of the story, because IT IS OVER, is that he moved on without telling me until it was too late and I would have physically found out when I saw him and her. So, my advice for you guys and gals out there: DO NOT IGNORE THE SIGNS BLAZING IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES OR THE SIRENS BLARING IN YOUR EARS. You deserve the best, know it, accept it and live like it!
Dodge that bullet!