There is some thing I MUST say. I am sick and tired of hearing black men speak against black women (this is not a pass for black women to speak against black men either-both are WRONG!)
I've heard on numerous occasions, even from people close to me, negative remarks about black women: "That attitude. She's always angry, for what? Why is nothing ever good enough? Can't she just support me in whatever I do? See that's why I want me a white/hispanic/asian woman, they KNOW how to treat a man! Nah, black women want/expect too much."
At the risk of sounding like the expectations of the ignorant I will continue. All women are beautiful, strong and hold promises of great nations within them. All women have attitudes and get angry, we all are expectant, we are women. So whether it is hidden and expressed differently makes no real difference because it is there.
What needs to be understood my black brethren is that although we are no longer in the times of 1607 (somehow it feels like we are) the sting is STILL there. You can listen to the video below and do some research to understand more.
Mind conditioning has brought us to a place of hating ourselves, though not always outright. Who would have thought that silken blonde hair weaves would be a popular thing on the continent of Africa? Bleaching skin all over the world with the excuse of 'smoothing out complexion' and 'removing blemishes'- this is a trend. Some how this has all become common place, much like the black woman bashing we hear today. Watching the video (linked below) brought up some thoughts.
A black woman's smile, is NOT contingent on her man or a man alone (as you may see referenced in similar videos like TJSotomayor's). This is not the image I got from the video of Ty Gray El's piece, I saw it as raceless in regard to the man. I do agree, however, that our smiles hinge on the completeness we as black women feel and own within ourselves. Our smiles, are often buried deep within the infrastructure of "maintaining" when odds are stacked against us. It is popular to say but is also very true that black women have more stacked against them on two levels: 1. She is a woman and 2. She is a black woman. For far too long this has been seen as a burden on us and that saddens me.
Our infamous attitudes, common to ALL WOMEN, are one of three things at any given time depending on the person: 1. Misunderstood 2. Warranted or 3. Unnecessary. While, many will choose to only agree with number three the other two must be taken into consideration.
The Unnecessary attitude is the one that happens because it is a habit, she's used to seeing it and giving it. She's been taught that this is the way you have to be in order to get things done. What bothers me is that on any other woman this is considered "spunk" "moxy" or just being "feisty" and its treated with admiration.
The Warranted attitude is one that is the fitting response to being legitimately wronged or annoyed. Period.
The Misunderstood attitude is the one that concerns me most and whose definition has yet to be accepted. This is not an excuse of any kind. This attitude is the attitude of the mother who knows her children can do better in school and punishes them when they bring home a grade less than their abilities. This woman has heard you speak, craft tricky ways to get out of doing things, found creative legal ways to make extra cash, tally up $$ and how long it would take to have enough for those sneakers or game you wanted. She is pissed that you have decided to waste your brain power, the same brain power that powered and built nations for centuries. She has a right to want more for you; so, to stand by and watch you have no aspirations but to just get by and take the quick and easy way out gives her an ATTITUDE!
So yes, I will have an attitude and NOT smile when I see you my "brother" wasting your life. The street corners of NY have some of the very best entrepreneurs in the world who have yet to understand their own abilities and potentials if they'd only go legit! The amount of unstoppable youth our world would have if its black women would learn to love themselves outside of what the world has told them is "true beauty"- we were born with true beauty stitched into our genes- would be astounding! A woman who values her self, regardless of outside opinion rears children who do the same. So, change your look for excitement NOT for the feeling of necessity and fitting into the portrayed beauty mold. I'll say it, conformity to a lie is UGLY!
A white, hispanic or asian woman will not solve the problem you have sir. The problem you have is that you've fallen victim to laziness, you've stopped trying but still expect a pat on the back and kudos for doing what you YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD. We, as your black women should push you toward excellence as we strive for it ourselves. When we both understand the roles we play in eachother's existence that is when the Black Woman Will Smile and the Black Man Will Rise.
A Black Woman's Smile <-- Check out this video, I am sure you've seen it before.
There is so much more I would love to say on this but I want to hear from you.