13 & Pregnant

The following is a public submission from one of my Lovies out there:


Hey Crystal. I saw this on my FB page and thought I’d share it with you and your readers to see how people felt about this:

”My daughter’s 13 year old friend is in the 7th grade and pregnant. Am I wrong for not allowing my daughter to be her friend anymore?”

...What are your thoughts on the matter, or what would u tell that woman?

Well Lovie, honestly my first question is "Why is she pregnant? Was it of her own indulgence into sexual intercourse or is she a victim of some sort?" If she is a victim, then she needs a friend. I know it is easy to say "Let some one else's child be her friend. NOT MINE." However, it really is not that easy because you are not at school nor are you with your child 24 hours of the day. You really cannot know all they do and say. The answer to protecting your children from pitfalls such as teen, or sadly- adolescent, pregnancy is not solely in the friends they keep but also in their upbringing and moral convictions. Personally, I have attended school with young girls who had gotten pregnant and yes, I knew them. No, I myself have not gotten in to that predicament, their choices were not my choices.

Victims NEED friends so that they KNOW that THEY ARE NOT ALONE. Now, on the other hand, knowingly and actively indulging in sexual activity assumes responsibility for any and all outcomes. I would advise any parent in this situation to sit down and talk with your son and/or daughter and see where their head is about these matters. Read their body language, learn the tones in their voice, watch their eyes- basically you're looking to see if you're being told what you "want" to hear or your child's genuine viewpoint. Ask them about their friend's character, "Is [insert name] usually like this?" "How long have you know [insert name] to be sexually active?" etc. If your child and the pregnant teen/adolescent are truly friends, your child will know if there is remorse or pride about/in their circumstance.

OKAY Lovies, she wants to hear from you so please comment below.