I fancy myself to be pretty wise, unless it pertains to me. I know I am not alone in this. Naivety has been to me like those sour patch kid candies, first it’s sour then it’s sweet. We are often told not to be naïve; I am definitely guilty of advising others to be alert, especially with matters of the heart. However, when it came to me, let’s just say that I did not practice what I preached. I can laugh now and I hope you can too. Here’s what I learned while being naïve in love.
I was fly and didn't know it yet... or maybe I did and I just forgot.
It is said that all little girls dream of marriage, they plan the wedding and play bride with white pillowcases draped off of the back of their heads—I must have missed that stage. I never dreamed of marriage when I was younger, it could be because I was raised in a single parent home. I loved it! Just me and my mom, I was her spoiled only child; although I definitely do not see myself as spoiled but blessed. I lived well; and boys were the last on my mind that is until puberty came knocking. Why is it that no one warns you about the rush of emotions that overwhelm you and turn you into a babbling fool? I went from being a creative and articulate child to a girl who could not express, clearly, the thoughts that she had during normal interactions with a boy she now thought was cute!
My mind ran the gamut from various scenarios; I watched shows like Saved by the Bell, Sweet Valley High, Full House, and anything that aired during the TGIF line-up just hoping to get some type of advice from a character I loved. What would she do? What did he like? Could I be or do any of it? I spent my pre-teen years in fantasy land. Unresolved on how I should talk to a boy I liked, I stuck to introspection and fantasy—one in which I even got the chance to marry Justin Timberlake after he came to his senses and broke it off with Britney Spears. Sorry Britney.
Puppy love will get you all of the time.
When I entered high school things changed a bit, I met my first love. That puppy love relationship was something I now believe that I needed. It helped me open my mouth to talk to boys, it helped me to view myself as attractive, and it helped me analyze emotions on a different level; albeit some were very painful but I needed the experience. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he made me cry, and he also made me feel dangerous because he was not from my ‘land of suburbia’ as he would say. I guess it is true; there is something about feeling the rush of being with someone considered to be a “bad boy”. Despite this stereotype he was not bad at all, he was smart and encouraging of me and the things that I loved, he was protective too but not in that jealous behavior sort of way- no, he shielded my feelings from others who wanted to hurt me or insult me, he started the process of toughening my skin by helping me to reinforce a
positive self image. With all of these wonderful experiences, the thought of why we had broken up may be baffling. We broke up because we were children; it is as simple as that. He was more independent and I was sheltered, there were curfews and limitations on our relationship that we both could not go beyond. We loved each other and that love and respect laid the ground for the friendship that we still share today. ...
What did I learn from our relationship? Well, you just have to read part 2 .