My Boyfriend Might Be Gay... Should I Stay?

This is a statement too common nowadays. It's gone way beyond Terry McMillan, when 'Stella Got Her Groove Back'. On more than one occasion I have been approached by women who have had their worlds rocked with this suspicion followed by facts. So now I want to know what YOU would do if: You're in love with a wonderful man, he loves you too and things look like they're going great in the relationship, UNTIL... You come across his cell phone/text messages/e-mail/computer pictures (you weren't actively looking for something fishy or maybe you were, the point is)  you have found questionable things. What are you to do? Ask him? Yes. Now you've asked him and he has denied being gay but hasn't explained your findings, instead he insists that he wants to be with you and you have insulted him. Tables have turned, even now he may try harder to prove his manliness in affectionate ways to you. Last resort, he gives you an ultimatum: "Do you want to be with me? I love you and want to be with you, I want you to have my children. But if you can't trust me then I don't know what we're doing here. You went through my things and then questioned me on it. If we are going to be in this relationship I have to trust you."

I'll give him this, he's gooood with the talk! I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard this scenario played out. You would be surprised at the reactions, things don't go as they should.

If this was your boyfriend, what would you do? Being "down low" doesn't help anyone.

Recently I was asked my advice on this same type of situation, this was my response:

She should run! This is a stage of denial that no doubt in the long run will end in her heartache. It's not a matter of having an issue with homosexuals it is a matter of being in an ill-fitted relationship. He may in fact love her but if he is attracted to men that is something he isn't going to get over in a minute. She has to think about herself, it is unfair to her. If she is afraid of being alone she has to weigh her options: end a dead end relationship and save herself from heartache down the road when it's too late VS carry on the relationship and spend the rest of her days questioning, worrying and eventually being scarred and hurt beyond reason. The choice is hers.

What is your advice? Help some one out who's facing this same problem, they may be reading.

"I Saw Your New Love. I'm Better." Really???

For years I've wondered why we feel the urge to compare our Ex's new person to ourselves. Why?

We compare body type, facial beauty or attractiveness, style of dress but taking it further we do the whole social media search. I'm telling you, the FBI or Secret Service could hire some of us with the serious super sleuthing skills we possess! You KNOW you've done it, haha, I'll admit I've done it too. Men, don't laugh because you do it too and some of you are probably in the process of doing it right now!

Again, I ask why? Does it really matter who they're with after us? Maybe it's a matter of closure or us wanting to know where we didn't measure up? Should we improve? There are many questions here but the main one I will focus on is:

"Why tear the NEXT down just because you're the EX?" Truth is she/he could be the most gorgeous person EVER or look like the Blobfish- it does not matter! What matters is that they're NOT with you (us). I don't mean to be harsh but what I want us to understand is that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Both of you have the possibility to do better, clearing opportunity for the PERFECT ONE FOR YOU to come into your life. Take note that I said "perfect for you" not "perfect person". No one is perfect but some people just FIT together.

Below are lyrics from a song but they're all too familiar in everyday conversation. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've heard something like this and I will admit, I have succumb to it in the past. ("She Can't Love You" by Destiny's Child)

Could we all agree that looking behind takes the focus off of moving ahead? I think we could. So why stay focused on the Ex and their new "Boo"? They've moved on and so should you! Don't get me wrong, a broken or bruised heart needs time to heal and that's the reason you should NEVER jump right into another relationship after a breakup. Spend that time learning more about yourself, going after dreams, planning your life, finishing things you've started, reconnecting with family and friends, etc. If you don't do any of this you run the risk of looking pathetic, dependent and lost BUT you're stronger than that!

It's true some of us really do need Boyfriend/Girlfriend Rehabilitation Services... There might be an app for that! (haha)

After you get the 'app' and have begun to heal its time to let go of them, both your Ex and the unhealthy obsession with the new love interest. Take time to evaluate the relationship you had. What was the good you would like to keep and enjoy in another relationship? What was the bad that you will not and cannot accept? What did you bring to the table and what can you now bring to the table (after you've had time to yourself- being a BETTER YOU)? Lastly, what are some things you expect your future mate to bring to the table? (Keep in mind, people have faults so expecting absolute perfection is ludicrous).

I want to hear from you, COMMENT below.