I love me some CoCo-- CoCo Chanel that is. That famous quote by the one and only sums it up quite nicely.
Valentine's Day was last Friday, a day where the streets were filled with red, white and pink, balloons and flowers everywhere lovers canoodling, holding hands, proposing and eating great meals for the sake of an emotional "I love you." A beautiful day indeed. So what's my problem? The infamous 'side-piece' aka 'side chick' aka 'other woman' ... oh but wait, men do it too!
I am sick of it! What's even more sickening is two phenomena:
1. The mistress/ mister gladly accepts this role to the point of boasting "I can do what you cannot."
2. The declared woman (sadly also known as the 'main' woman) believes that this is life and a man will be a man.
Complete crap! Both phenomena are crap!
Where have we come as a society to begin to accept infidelity as okay and for some, an aspiration? I know we have shows like Scandal and Being Mary Jane, not to mention the decades old soap operas— infamous for their bed hopping. I will be the first to admit, but never justify, that I love the show SCANDAL. My love for the show is wrapped up in the drama of the messes that Olivia Pope needs to come and fix-- and of course, her impeccable fashion. The downright deplorable adultery that goes on is without excuse (some thing my friends and I relentlessly discuss over group text chats) so yes, this applies to these shows as well.
On numerous occasions I have heard women say “You just have to keep your man happy.” “…as long as he doesn’t bring any diseases home…” “Maybe I need to change up my style, I’ve slacked off that’s why he’s not finding me attractive anymore.” “Men cheat, that’s just the way it is. I’d rather have a man who looks around than to be alone.” Say what?! *picks up jaw* Something is terribly wrong with those statements. We’ve gone from delusions to self-blame. Let’s be clear, sometimes people do let their selves go and stop courting/romancing each other- that’s another problem all together- but that is no excuse to cheat.
I can tell you first hand that there are great men out there who are faithful despite it all. Their hearts are tied to their lovers and it is evident. Are they punks? NO WAY! They are REAL MEN who know how to handle home and hold it down, their wives or girlfriends are happily free to treat them like KINGS because they’re treated like QUEENS. See the difference here? It is in the treatment of each other. I know, I know you’re probably saying, “that’s because those men ARE NOT telling you they’re cheating!” – these men have nothing to hide, their lives are out in the open, so no they don’t have to make any declarations.
So my Ladies, my girls, please please please stop thinking that this is life. It is only life when you allow it to be. I’m asking mothers and fathers to teach their sons and daughters that this is NOT acceptable.
On to the side-whatevers. If you’re a side-chick and you’re reading this, comment below. Side pieces do not have high self-esteem, they’re great pretenders though. You would believe that she or he believes they’re the best thing since sliced bread. Let me tell you why a person like this accepts the role of ‘side’- they get the best ego boosts, they are valued based on looks or what ever sexual act they excel at… nothing deep at all. Oh they may have the occasional deep conversation but tell me, was it BEFORE or AFTER the sex? Side pieces will always be disrespected, first by themselves and second by the person using them. Bragging that you can and will do what the ‘main’ won’t (like Joe sang “I’ll do what your man won’t do…”) is pathetic.
I ask of you ‘side person’, respect yourself, have some dignity and be better- do better. Be in your own relationship where the both of you are each other’s one and only. If you are doing this just to get gifts to keep quiet or because you’re “skilled” you can put the same effort into a monogamous relationship and it would be 100 times better. You can quote me on that!