Subjective Break Down

Yesterday I broke down at work. Overwhelmed with the thoughts of disappointment as to my current station in life. I felt like a failure, as though my life was being wasted. As I began to feel breath leaving me, I gasped and forced myself to inhale and exhale deeply but I did not want anyone in the office to notice. I felt the weight of my world beginning to crash down on my head, tension tightening and tingling in the back of my head- I thought I would be better off by now. I was wrong.

As I read those sentences I must wonder, was I wrong? Am I unsuccessful? Success is subjective but sometimes I forget that. I have been weighing achievement and success by what I had been taught were scales. That was mistake number one. The truth is success and achievement look different for everyone, just as each person’s purpose in life is different so is their success. There is no scale to measure individual achievements because there is no comparison; the only One who can tell you where you stand is God. Even when it seems that purposes are similar, it is important to remember that they are not identical.

As I write this I hope I am not confusing you. Sorry if I am. This post is for me as much as it is for you, it is therapy and confirmation. You and I are where we are supposed to be, our job today is to find out what our assignment for the day is because trust me, there is an assignment. Something to do, someone to talk to, something to write, something to remember, something to pray.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Trust God. Accept the help coming your way. Open your mouth to let out your frustrations, holding it in is like inhaling poisonous gas and expecting to live without getting help.


Live, my dear, live.